BEING RIGHT....

Have you ever attempted to reason with a child who knows everything? It’s their way or no way at all. They simply cannot understand the concept of another person’s point of view. Children go through a stage where they are extremely self-absorbed. Everything is mine and they will not share. The world revolves around their desires and needs. This is a normal stage of childhood where the child is asserting their individuality and independence. The problem arises when the behavior is carried over into adulthood. Of Recent this issue of being right has been somewhat “hot” so I think  there is never a better time to reason this out, and take the risk of being called Mr Right……

 

People who NEED to be right have little patience for others. They perceive their ideas as the right way to do things and their viewpoints as the right way to think. With a  differing opinion is they become extremely aggressive in their defense of themselves. They tend to alienate others due to their insistence on being ‘right’. The importance of the issue in question doesn’t seem to have any relevance. People are different. We each have a totally unique set of DNA that will never be replicated short of cloning. I do not think the same as you do and vice-versa. Our brains are wired differently. What seems totally natural and easy for me to do may be close to impossible for you. Oftentimes we get caught in a clash of opinions, But the reality is that just because I can do something does not mean that you can. And just because I (or any other individual) believe in the stand that we make, with VALID REASONING, doesn’t make me Mr Right. Nor does it make me better or right. Just different.

 

What is right and wrong? I bake a cake a certain way and I determine that it
is the ‘right’ way to bake a cake. Yet my next-door neighbor uses an entirely different method and guess what? His or Her cake is just as good. Short of a cake being inedible, there is no right or wrong, just different ways of baking the cake. Some ways may be more efficient, true. But not necessarily the only way of doing it.

 

By the way, whose truth is the real truth? Or better yet, two viewpoints can each conform to the truth so which one is more right? Standing for what you believe is right and having to be right are two different things. Having to be right seems simply means the need to be self-righteous. With narrow-mindedly moralistic. Aha! Now we are getting closer. Someone who needs to be right would seem to be self-righteous, i.e. someone who feels that their way of seeing and doing things is superior to that of others.

 

This brings to mind the religious zealots who believe that their way of worshiping God is the only true way and that anyone who does not hold to their dogma is not only a non-believer but also an infidel. They have the deep need to convert the non-believer, believing that unless you hold to my way of thinking, you will be condemned to hell. My believing something different is considered a threat to some. This of course is an extreme case of but it certainly reveals the nature of being right.

 

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN a person who stands to believe to be right and someone who has the need to be right ? Having to be right involves self esteem issues, low self-confidence, the past running the present, remnants of childhood adaptations, ego- behavior and he list goes on and on.

 

What are the costs of being right? To start of most friends and people around us still do not know the difference, they still think that when an opinion or suggestion is being rationalized and when you stand for what you believe in, it is being self righteous, egoistic, and somehow being arrogant. What they fail to realize is that, unlike someone who NEEDS to be right, you open the doors to possibilities,

 

We will never recognize where our next opportunity lies if we do not remain open to possibilities. Being righteous and being self-righteous are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. It’s the difference between people who are full of themselves versus people who do the right thing. Who do you choose? How do you want to be perceived? A life well lived is a life where being right is not the be-all end-all. The be-all end-all is a life well lived. Luckily, as human beings we were given free will and the ability to choose for ourselves. People and friends are usually quick to judge but unless they can differentiate the difference It all comes down to choice.